GAME 5
The following was the live player-written “broadcast” of the game – with minor edits for errors and content.

After heavy rain in the morning, and the threat of a rainout, the Quakers are up to bat in the top of the first. Baseball stops for no cloud formations. Max Kohn leads off with a hustle single. He subsequently steals second and slides in under the tag. Tyrone strikes out and the Quakers have one out with a man on second. Ethan Kohn hits the ball hard, but lines out to second and into a double play. That's baseball, folks. The Quakers take the field with Kaoru Yamazaki on the bump.

Bottom of the first...

Kaoru takes the mound. The first batter reaches first after being lightly grazed by a slightly stray pitch. He then moves up on a series of wild pitches to make it 1-0 Haverford. Next batter reaches on a walk and takes second on another passed ball. Kaoru, who is struggling uncharacteristically, is replaced by Big Mike. He has to deal with the pesky Haverford player on third left behind by Yamazaki. The next batter slams the ball into left field, only to have his hoped dashed by Sammy "the slammer" Singer's experienced glove. The following opponent is left dumbfounded by Dirty Mike's fabulous pitching, watching as the third strike glides over the plate. The man on third reaches home on a passed ball. The last batter hit a popup into Tyrone "Reese" Patterson's waiting cowhide ball retrieval device.

Top of the Second....

George Marcou comes up to the plate, itching at a chance to send the enemy running back to Pennsylvania. Unfortunately, Marcou proved to be overzealous, striking out swinging. Avery Schonberger chops a ball to third but is out on a good throw to first. Riley "The Silent Giant" Davies cunningly swindles his way to first, reaching on a dropped third strike. Stephanie Everett comes up to bat but grounds out to third base, ending the inning.

Bottom of the Second....

Dirty Mike and the boys take the field, hoping to end the inning quickly, so as to be able to go home and nap sooner. Once again, Untereiner's pitching baffles the Haverford hitters, leaving one of them helplessly watching as the ball gracefully danced over the plate. The next two batters had their hopes dashed by Sammy "I hate the environment" Singer and Riley "I do all the work" Davies.

Top of the Third.....

Big Mike comes up to the plate...and immediately grounds out to short. Max "Goatee" Kohn rightfully doubted the accuracy of the Haverford pitcher, however the ump disagreed and called the third strike. Sammy grounds out to short.

Bottom of the Third...

The batter from Penn slaps to ball to third, where Max "Pony" Kohn gracefully handles it and throws it to the awkwardly-posed George "Wild Card" Marcou for the out. The crowd can hardly believe their eyes as Dirty Mike once again bamboozles the batter into another strikeout. The next batter hits it deep to right center field for what should have been a nice double. His zeal got the better of him, however, and he tries to go for third but is thrown out by the amazing Sidwell Friends defense on a nifty relay by Tyrone.

Top of the Fourth...

Tyrone "Sunglasses all the time" Patterson comes up to the plate, hoping to end Sidwell's dry spell. Unfortunately he grounds out to third. Ethan "Neck Beard" Kohn eagerly hops into the batters box and squashes the first pitch into left field for a double. George comes up to bat, all riled up and ready to go. He fights a long battle against the fiendish Haverford pitcher, grounding out to the pitcher but advancing Neck Beard down to third. Avery "Paperclip" Schonberger grounds out to short, ending Sidwell hopes of putting numbers on the board.

Bottom of the Fourth...

The Maroon Goons take the field, poised to eviscerate Haverford's hopes of extending their lead to three. The first batter jacks a ball to deep right-center, allowing him to reach third base before the good guys get the ball. The second batter hits the ball to Big Mike, who gracefully throws to first after first checking the runner at third. The next batter, however, hits a sneaky sacrifice fly to center, scoring the runner. Although Michael continues to pitch like a champ the next batter hits a double down the left field line, who then advances home on a single delivered by the following batter. The next batter hits a ball between the third baseman and the shortstop, getting an RBI in the process. With a man on first, the next Haverford batter flies out to left.

Top of the Fifth....

Although both teams represent the Religious Society of Friends, the competition is getting intense, with both teams itching to show the other what it means to be a Quaker. Riley Davies disagrees with the Ump's decision to call a third strike, but his silent pleas go unnoticed as he returns to the dugout. Steph Everett strikes out swinging, leaving Sidwell's hopes in the hands of the fabulously talented Michael "Da Unt" Unteriener. Michael unfortunately follows in the footsteps of his predecessors and strikes out, ending the inning.

Bottom of the Fifth....

The first brave soul to take on Dirty Mike and the Boys manages a hit into left field and advances to second when his compatriot grounds out to the pitcher. The next batter flies out to center, where Ethan "Redbird" Kohn, and his questionably bright shoes are there to make the play. The next batter slices it to left field and records an RBI. Let it be known the Logan "Hustle" Matthiesen and Bennet "Big D" Tierney have entered the fray for Sidwell Friends. The next batter strikes out to end the inning.

Top of Sixth....

Max hits a ball to shallow center, where the Haverford player makes a great sliding catch. Sammy "Cyborg" Singer's foul ball is caught by the first baseman. Tyrone slams a monster triple to right center, getting the bench back into the game. Ethan Kohn is unable to put Sidwell on the board and strikes out, sending us to the bottom of the sixth.

Bottom of the Sixth....

Oscar "I've never pitched before" Boochever replaces Dirty Mike on the mound for your Sidwell Slammers. The first batter flies out to center on the first pitch, giving Booch a large confidence boost. The next man to face the lightning speed of Oscar's pitching doubles down the left field line. Booch walks the next batter and then balks, advancing the runners to second and third. Booch accidentally grazes the next batter but George has Oscar's back as he catches a foul ball hit by the next batter. The next man to face the formidable armada of Oscar Boochever hits the ball over second base, scoring two runs. Sammy Singer makes the terrific sliding catch in left field to end the inning.

Top of the Seventh...

Sidwell must get at least eight runs to continue the game, and George starts it off on a good foot, hitting a single to left field. Bennet reaches first on a vicious pitch thrown by the Haverford pitcher (pitch strikes him in the backside!)...but then two of your Quakers ground out, ending the game.